Purdy's Birthday
by EmpoleonsFlygonsAndHydriegons
Summary: It is Purdy's birthday so Mousefur forces the clan to throw a party. My first fan-fic. R&R! No flames please.
1. Getting Ready

Purdy's Birthday

**Disclaimer: Rockstar does not own Warriors. Erin Hunter does. **

**A/N: In this story cats have human items. Also they use mouse tails as money and go to stores.**

"Today's Purdy's birthday!' Mousefur exclaimed."Let's throw him a birthday party!"

Firestar didn't look very interested."Really? I'll ask if the clan is willing to throw him a party. And where is Purdy?"

"He's sleeping." Mousefur replied."Oh and Firestar? Tell me who thinks we shouldn't have a party. I'll make them wish they never were born."

Normally the threat from an elder wouldn't be so threatening. But this was Mousefur. Last moon she bit off part of Ivypool's ear just because she was late with dry bedding, because since there were no apprentices, the younger warriors (A.K.A. Dovewing and Ivypool) had to do the apprentice duties. So when Firestar gathered the cats, everyone was happy to help. But Poppyfrost was excused because of her kits that had just discovered YouTube on the clan computer and never left the screen anymore. And Briarlight was helping Poppyfrost, because she couldn't do most other duties.

"So Brambleclaw, give out duties to everyone in the clan." Said Firestar.

"Okay. Ivypool and Dovewing you go get the cake, ice cream, and all other things that have to do with food. Lionblaze and Berrynose, you are on decoration. Me, Firestar, Brakenfur, Sorreltail and Dustpelt will find entertainment. Jayfeather and Leafpool you will be on medicine duty just in case something goes terribly wrong. Cloudtail, Sandstorm and Graystripe, you will be making sure that Purdy doesn't see what's going on. Brightheart, Millie, Thornclaw and Squirrelflight, you will be getting forks, spoons and plates. Also get candles."said Brambleclaw.

"How many candles?" Thornclaw asked "Hey Mousefur, how old is Purdy?"

Mousefur whispered something in Thornclaws ear. When she was done Thornclaw's eyes widened." I don't have that much money!" he said.

"Well too bad." Mousefur said.

"Everyone else get him presents." Brambleclaw finished.

"Moooooooooooooo." Said the computer.

"Molekit, stop watching cows on rampages." Said Poppyfrost.

Everyone was okay with their duties, except Berrynose and Lionblaze, because they didn't want to work with each other.

* * *

><p>Ivypool and Dovewing were at the bakery on the Gathering Island. There were many shops on the gathering island now. They were trying to decide on what cake to buy. It was either a mouse cake or a rabbit cake. Neither of them knew what Purdy liked.<p>

"How about we just buy both?" said Ivypool." There are a lot of cats in ThunderClan."

" Okay."

On the way back to camp they were attacked buy a loner, three living trees and a twoleg sock. The sock was the hardest opponent. It covered Dovewing's head and she couldn't breath until Ivypool pulled it off. Surprisingly, they made it back with both cakes unharmed.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Berrynose and Lionblaze were decorating. Berrynose found twelve cans of spray-paint: blue, red, green, purple, black, white, yellow, pink, brown, light-blue, turquoise, and gray. Lionblaze found a lot of balloons. Soon the camp looked pretty party-ish. Also they hung up streamers and signs that read "Happy Birthday Purdy".<p>

"Wow. That turned out better than we thought it would" said Lionblaze.

"Yep. But now I have to help Poppyfrost get our kits off the clan computer." Said Berrynose.

* * *

><p>Also meanwhile the entertainment crew were having no trouble. They got The StarClan Band booked for the party and hired Crowfeather as a magician.<p>

"Crowfeather, I never knew you could do magic." Said Brambleclaw.

"Well can't you? I thought all the chosen cats were magicians. I thought that's why we got picked. Because of our magic ability. I know Feathertail could. I once saw Tawnypelt conjure a mouse out of nowhere." Replied Crowfeather.

"Well I can kind of do magic but not much." Brambleclaw said.

"Brambleclaw, you never told us this? You could have conjured prey last leaf-bare, when all of us went starving." Said Sorreltail.

" Well I was too busy getting haunted by Tigerstar in my drea- I mean Oooh, look fresh kill!" said Brambleclaw as he ran away.

* * *

><p>As for the cats that were keeping Purdy away from camp, were having loads of trouble. At first they tried to keep him away from camp by taking him out on a forest, but then he wanted to go back to camp. Then they tried battle training him, so he got exhausted and fell asleep. Every time he woke up they hit him on the head so he got knocked out. So that's what they decided to it pretty much went like this: ". Huh- what?"THUNK "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" for a while. None of them felt really bad about this though. Purdy had been pretty annoying for the last couple moons.<p>

The supplies cats were running into troubles of their own. Every time they bought a bag of plastic forks a dwarf or a wizard popped up and destroyed the forks. They had bought forty-two bags of forks when they finally got past the wizards and dwarfs. Also Squirrelflight had to carry the plates, forks, and spoons because it took three cats to carry the giant bag of candles.

The cats getting presents just caught some prey and wrapped it in a leaf. Except for Icecloud. She went all the way through WindClan, walked onto the gathering island, waited forty-five minutes in a long line, bought three balls of yarn, went all the way back through WindClan territory, realized that everyone just got prey, then wrapped the balls of yarn in a leaf.

Everything was just put in the right place when Sandstorm yelled "Hide!"

Everyone hid. Sandstorm, Purdy, Cloudtail, and Graystripe walked in.

"SURPRISE!" everyone yelled.

**A/N: This is my first fan-fic. Should I make another chapter? R&R.  
><strong>


	2. Where's Dustpelt

Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm glad you like it. Remember, this is my **_**first **_**fan-fic. Rockstar does not own warriors. If I did Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight would still be together.**

"Surprise!" everyone yelled.

"What?" Purdy asked.

"Happy Birthday Purdy" said Mousefur.

"Wow. No one has ever thrown me a party before. Usually they just kicked me and said 'No one cares'". He replied.

"Awwwwwwwwwww", the clan said.

"Well let's PARTY!" said Molekit who had popped up from nowhere.

"Yeah!" agreed Cherrykit, " Let's party!"

"Ok." Said Firestar,"But first…"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, CHA CHA CHA,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, CHA CHA CHA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR PURDY, CHA CHA CHA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, CHA CHA CHA, OOH LA LA!" the whole clan sang.

"Are you one, are you two, are you thre-" started Lionblaze.

"No!" shouted Thornclaw,"That would take all day!"

And so the party started. DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN.

Everyone was dancing to random music when a loud crash was heard.

"I'll check it out" said Leafpool.

But she didn't have to check it out because three green jackrabbits came out of a U.F.O.(Unidentified Flying Orangutan).

The green jackrabbits pulled out jack-hammers, and started to play jacks.

Coincidentally, their names were Jack, Jackie, and Fredrick.

But they were all BENT ON REVENGE! Why, no one knows, but they were BENT ON REVENGE! So Fredrick used his jack-hammer to drill down the warriors den. Hazeltail was in the den so she was rushed to the medicine cat den.

The three green jackrabbits thought that was enough so they flew back to jackrabbit land in North Dakota. Everyone thought that that was it so they danced again. But that was not the end!

A massive hedgehog came.

"ME HEDGEHOG!" it said.

"That's a HEDGEHOG?" Jayfeather asked surprised.

Soon it had rolled over Daisy, who was rushed to the medicine cat den with Hazeltail. The hedgehog was angry. It was hungry too. And it could breath fire. It ran over to WindClan.

"Wait," said Bumblestripe "Where's Dustpelt?"

"The jackrabbits must have taken him! Those mangy, stupid, idiotic, pieces of fox-dung!" said Molekit.

"Molekit! Where did you learn that language?" said Poppyfrost.

"From Cherrykit." He replied.

"Where did you learn that language, Cherrykit?" said Poppyfrost.

"From Auntie Cinderheart." She replied.

"CINDERHEART!" said Poppyfrost,"I'm a firing my laser! BLAAAH!" she said as a laser came out of her mouth and scorched Cinderheart.

Anyway, after Cinderheart was rushed to the medicine cat den, some cats were sent on the ThunderClan's emergency shuttle to North-Dakota.

The Crew

Captain: Jayfeather

Second in Command: Purdy

Troops:

Squirrelflight

Molekit

Thornclaw

Ivypool

CRASH! They landed upside down because after forty-five minutes of crashing they all realized that Jayfeather was BLIND and was driving. Then Purdy took over, but that was even worse. They all immediately started looking for Dustpelt. No one found him. But what they did find something more important. They found a giant mouse. But inside of the mouse were sixty-four jackrabbits! They all came out holding jackhammers and surrounded them.

"Oh-no! We're surrounded! And I just stated the obvious!" said Thornclaw, who was chewing on a bag of deathberries. But he lived!


	3. The Big Battle

Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry last chapter had a brief ending. I meant to continue but I made a mistake. I don't own warriors or anything else I refer to in the following text.  
><strong>

The jackrabbits moved forward.

"Attack!" yelled Jack in some weird jackrabbit language.

The jackrabbits, all with jackhammers, charged.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at camp,<p>

"Mom, Cinderheart showed me a movie! It was cool!" said Cherrykit.

"Oh, that's nice. What movie did she show you?" said Poppyfrost, eying Cinderheart suspiciously.

"It was called Friday The 13th." she replied.

"WHAT! I'M A FIRING MY LASER, BLAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" she said again scorching Cinderheart.

"Cinderheart!" Lionblaze shouted.

"I'm a Yankee doodle dandy, a Yankee Doodle do or die, a real liv-" sang Firestar.

"Quiet! My love got scorched by a laser and you're singing! Prepare to die!" said Lionblaze as he tackled Firestar.

"Am I the only sane person left in ThunderClan?" said Toadstep.

"Yep, pretty much. OH MY STARCLAN, IT'S THE DREADED APOCALYPSE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" screamed Foxleap.

"That's it goodbye ThunderClan. I'll come back when you are sane again." said Toadstep.

"Good riddance." said Firestar, who was now in the medicine cat den with Cinderheart, Hazeltail, Daisy and Leafpool who was healing them.

* * *

><p>Back with the rabbits. The cats were winning the fight! Exept for Ivypool no one was down yet.<p>

"Retreat!" shouted Fredrick,"We will attack at noon."

Jayfeather, who had thought it would be best to pack herbs, healed everyone. But Ivypool was not ready to fight again. She had gotten a deep cut in the ear that Mousefur had bit awhile ago.

"So, as Thornclaw, who somehow speaks Jackrabbit, told us they will attack at noon." said Purdy.

"DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNN!" said Molekit.

"But, Ivypool will not be able to fight. So, that means we must fight twice as hard. And in order to do that we should all be hyper." said Jayfeather opening a giant bag of catmint.

"Ohh, catmint! Can I have some?" asked Molekit.

"Everyone does! Eat!" said Purdy who had already discussed the plan with Jayfeather.

Well, let's just say the catmint was all gone in 4.54 seconds. Suddenly, the clock that had apeared out of nowhere struck Twelve 'O Clock. By now the troops were bouncing of walls. Then, the battle began.

Never before had their been a battle so hilarious. Instead of fighting all the cats just annoyed the jackrabbits until they had passed out with rage and then they ate them.

"Chickens, chickens, kayak down the stream, me no bird. Red, Blue, rainbow fluffy trees." said Thornclaw, knocking out 4 jackrabbits.

"123456789 123456789 123456789 123456789 123456789 123456789 123456789 123456789" said Jayfeather.

Pretty soon, only 6 were left.

"Run!" said Jackie, who was a survivor.

The jackrabbits climbed into the U.F.O.(Unidentified Flying Orangutan) and flew off.

But where was Dustpelt?

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back at camp, the Clan was in chaos. Brambleclaw was eating Berrynose's almonds and Berrynose was trying to stop him. And that was just one thing that was going crazy!<p>

"Give me my almonds now!" shouted Berrynose.

"No, my almonds now." chuckled Brambleclaw evilly.

"THE DUCKS ARE CAUSING THE APOCALYPSE! STOP THE DUCKS!" shouted Foxleap and his band of followers.

"I'll get you Cinderheart, that will be the last time you teack Cherrykit how to use a machine gun. !" screamed Poppyfrost.

"Nooooo, CINDERHEART!" shouted Lionblaze.

"I'm a Yankee doodle dandy, a Yankee Doodle do or die, a real live nephew of my Uncle Sam, born on the fourth of July." sang Firestar.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I'm not done with the finding Dustpelt crew, even though they defeated the jackrabbits. So, Where is Dustpelt? Put The answer in your reviews. I will pick the one I find the funniest. R&R.**


	4. The Clans Are Wild! Especially Thunder

**A/N: The Dustpelt competition is still on. I'm writing this chapter so you can see what is going on in ThunderClan and other places.**

**I don't own anything I refer to in this story.**

* * *

><p>Toadstep was now in the mountains with the Tribe of Rushing Water. He had gone on a long journey far away from camp. He was now spanking Stormfur with a pickle. Stormfur was hitting him back with a cabbage .<p>

KA-BOOOM!

All the cats looked outside.

* * *

><p>"THE APOYCALAPSE IS TODAY! THE END IS NEIGH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" screamed Foxleap.<p>

"DIE CINDERHEART! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Poppyfrost.

"Nooooooooooo! Cinderheart!" shouted Lionblaze.

"STOP!" shouted a mysterious voice.

But nobody heard. The voice soon left because it was hopeless.

"O beautiful for spacious skies,  
>For amber waves of grain,<br>For purple mountain majesties  
>Above the fruited plain!<br>America! America!  
>God shed his grace on thee<br>And crown thy good with brotherhood  
>From sea to shining sea! " sang Firestar.<p>

"Stop singing!" shouted Lionblaze as he attacked Firestar.

"3 is a magic number. Yes it is. It's a magic number. It gives you WORLD DOMINATION!" screamed Rosepetal.

* * *

><p>In StarClan they were discussing what to do about ThunderClan.<p>

"I think we should wait and see if they get worse." Said Honeyfern.

"Why can't we just destroy them with a plague?"

"No one invited you here Tigerstar. Get out!" screamed Whitestorm, Runningwing, Bluestar, and Snowfur.

* * *

><p>"Hmm, since ThunderClan is crazy, we should attack now!" said Darkstripe.<p>

"Patience, young padawan. We will attack when Breezepelt finally stops trying to kill Onestar." replied Tigerstar.

* * *

><p>"Rosepetal that's the button we use to laser Blackstar,don't press it!" shouted Brightheart.<p>

ZZZZAAAP!

* * *

><p>Meanwhile in ShadowClan, Blackstar was losing a life after being shot by a laser. Suddenly eight more lasers zapped lost all his remainig lifes plus three extras. He died. Everyone cheered. Rowanclaw set off to be clan leader.<p>

* * *

><p>Back in ThunderClan, the cats had calmed down to playing baseball. Brambleclaw, who had eaten all of Berrynose's almonds, was up at bat. Lionblaze was the catcher, and Sandstorm was pitching. Sandstorm threw a fastball to Brambleclaw.<p>

Crack!

He swung so hard the bat split into two pieces. The ball sailed out of the park.

"He's out!" said Crowfeather, who was the ump. Since Purdy wasn't here he had to wait to do his act.

"What? Are you kidding? It was out of the forest! BLAAAAHHH!" screamed Poppyfrost, because she was on the other team.

"Ouch! Okay, fine he hit a home-run!" said Crowfeather.

The team went wild. Turns out the bases were loaded! But they were all very childish about it.

"We won, you lost, we rock, you stink!" chanted the team.

"Meanies!" shouted the other team.

* * *

><p>"Breezepelt, you can't beat me." said Onestar, who had pinned Breezepelt down, while clawing his neck.<p>

"Yes I can. I'm better than y- uhhlahhah."

The last part was because his neck was clawed and he died. He had no trip to StarClan. Because, as we all know, he went to the Dark Forest.

* * *

><p>Well in RiverClan, everything was crazy too(but not as crazy as ThunderClan).<p>

"Mooo, I'm an octopus." said Mistystar.

"Ka-kaw ka-kaw, I'm a horse." said Mothwing.

"Hiss hiss, I'm a meteor." said Heavystep, who had come back to life AGAIN.

"Quack quack, I'M A FIRING MY LASER, BLAAAHH!" shouted Reedwhisker and he shot his laser all across camp.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, as you all know, the Where's Dustpelt? competition is STILL on. Glowingsoul, your idea is funny but can I edit it a little to make it more K+ ?<strong>

**Also the baseball part might not be that funny, but I was celebrating my team's victory. The score was 24-7. We had the 24.**

**R&R!**


	5. Finding Dustpelt Part 1

**The Dustpelt competition is OVER! But I am thinking of making a story called "Where's Dustpelt?" in which it will have ALL the ideas. But that's just a thought.**

* * *

><p>Purdy, Jayfeather and the troops were flying in the shuttle. Everyone on board was throwing Purdy a mini-birthday party.<p>

"For he's a jolly good fellow,

For he's a jolly good fellow," they all sang.

But suddenly a gigantic space-ship loomed ahead.

"What is THAT?" Purdy asked.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile on the spaceship, Dustpelt was eating catnip that the rabbits had fed to him, and drinking soda. He was also surrounded by a hoard of rabbits, because this was the rabbit mothership, and they were all doing a really fast dance in a circle.<p>

"Lord Dustpelt, a unidentified space-ship is flying toward us.' Said a random rabbit name Cedric.

"Use the tractor beam. I have a feeling I know who this is." Said Dustpelt.

* * *

><p>In ThunderClan, everyone was very tired. Except Cloudtail. He was really hyper for not doing anything.<p>

"Chocolate rain, some stay dry and others feel the pain,

Chocolate rain!" he sang.

"Rain from the sky,

turning people into pie,

cheese from the ground

makes my head spin around!" he sang also.

Foxleap, was murmuring to himself.

"Apocalypse is coming, it just got stuck in traffic."

"Oh say can you see

by the dawn's early light?" sang Firestar.

Lionblaze sat up, "Are you serious? We don't even live in the U.S.A! We live in England!"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." said Firestar.

* * *

><p>On the ship, they were pulled into the Mothership of the rabbits. When they were attached to the ship, rabbits swarmed to tie them up.<p>

"I want Momma!" screamed Molekit.

"Why are these rabbits tying us up?" said Thunderstar.

"When did you get here?" said Thornclaw.

"Oh, I've been hiding in your food storage compartment the whole time. When I heard screaming I came out but the rabbits tied me up too!" said Thunderstar.

"But aren't you DEAD?" said Jayfeather.

"Yes." he said then floated up to StarClan.

"Lord, we have tied up the prisoners. What do we do now?" said Cedric.

"Eat as many carrots as you want." Suddenly, a swivel chair that had appeared out of nowhere spun around."I've been expecting you."

* * *

><p><strong>Congratulations, Glowingsoul! You won! <strong>

**Anyone who didn't win, your ideas will be featured in "Where's Dustpelt?". **

**Sorry for the short chapter but I have to go to bed. I might not be able to update tomorrow, but I'm not sure.**

**Rockstar of Thundaclan is out. PEACE!  
><strong>


	6. Finding Dustpelt part 2

**Sorry I haven't updated. It was a busy week and my birthday was yesterday.**

* * *

><p>In the mountains:<p>

All the cats went outside and looked at what the explosion was.

It was a ship full of jackrabbits (that are green and glowing) crashing into the side of a mountain.

Suddenly Pine That Clings To Rock accidently-on-purpose pushed Toadstep. He lost and balance and fell. All the way down the mountain.

* * *

><p>"What are we going to do?" asked Squirrelflight.<p>

"I know what to do!" said Molekit as he pulled out a popsicle.

"You're gonna eat a popsicle?" asked Purdy.

"Nope!" he replied,"HIYYAAAHHHHH!"

Molekit then used his popsicle to cut the ropes that bound them. He jumped free and started whacking all the rabbits.

"LORD, THE PRISONERS ARE ESCAPING!" shouted Cedric.

"What? How?" yelled Dustpelt.

"Popsicles!" Cedric said.

Pretty soon all the rabbits were hurt. They tied up Dustpelt and brought him into their ship, where Thunderstar was hiding in a creepy way.

* * *

><p>The ship landed in ThunderClan camp.<p>

"Hello, peepz!" said Dustpelt, who had still not recovered from the catmint.

"Hey! Me had an idea! Since it is still Purdy's birthday, let's party!" said Foxleap, who was not afraid of the apocalypse anymore.

"Purdy should do a birthday SPEECH!" said Sandstorm.

"Okay!" said Purdy who was wearing an Abe Lincoln hat and beard,"Four score and seven years ago-"

"Mommy, how long is a year and a score?" asked Cherrykit.

"A year is twelve moons, and a score is twenty years." said Poppyfrost.

"I turned three-hundred-sixty-two years old. Our four fathers were my best friends when I grew up."

"He's so old!" said Molekit.

And after the speech, they partied til the next day.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the end of my story. Tell me what you thought of it. Now I will start 'Where's Dustpelt", then my next story is "Tigerstar's Pet Ostrich", which is a one-shot.<strong>


End file.
